i call my guitar baby, and treat it like a wife. apparently i open bananas on the wrong side. i go in my bathroom with coffee and cigarette, and even though i'm done taking my shit i wait until i'm done with my cigarette to wipe my ass and continue with my day. sometimes i go in the bathroom to smoke a cigarette in peace, and i pull my drawers down anyway. i like to hold in a fart and make sure someone is around to hear me push it out as hard as i can.