[HappyguyForum]

Granted but it grants everyone but you wishes
I wish for a house that talks to me when i poop and measures it in couric's. It then tells me what a great job i did after i took that poop and wipes the sweat off my brow and gives me a twinky (the non fattening ones of course)

[Sean]

Granted but the house stores all your poop in a a giant box and saves it til Christmas for you to open.

I wish for a magical flying unicorn!

[Sanji]

Granted,but it gives you cancer.
I wish for a penguin named Chester.

[Brothership]

Granted but Chester is in secret a spy for the penguins and will kill all of humanity.

I wish for a dinosaur guard!

[Charles]

Granted you got a Dinosaur but it's a Tea-Rex
I wish for Tree Seeds!

[Janloom]

You get a thousand and one acorns, and a spirit tree seed.

I wish for ranging supplies!

[Sanji]

Granted, but you can only use them at level 100 range.
I wish for god mode.

[Charles]

Granted you cannot be harmed and you cannot harm others.
I wish for 99 magic.

[Gornu]

Granted, except now your stuck on the undiscovered spellbook still in development, you cannot cast the spells because the runes are unreleased.

I want a Jagex bronze dagger.

[Sean]

Granted, but whenever you equip it your character instantly dies.

I wish for James to suck my wee wee.

[Bong Water]

Granted, but whenever you equip it your character instantly dies.

I wish for James to suck my wee wee.

Granted, but he bites it off in the process.
I wish to be successful in life.

[Sanji]

Granted but you may never use a bong again.
I wish for 1 million wishes. 

[HappyguyForum]

Granted but those wishes can be only used on things you do not desire.
I wish for another big update

[Sean]

Granted, but nobody knows about the update, and any person who finds out automatically gets banned!

I wish for the largest chocolate bar in the world!

[Zeliounz]

Granted, but the chocolate bar is actually a nuclear bomb capable of blowing up the planet, and it does.

I wish you could stop corrupting my wishes.